SEC Power Rankings: Will Jared Lorenzen Weigh In This Weekend?

Hey, the SEC Power Rankings are here again, and we’ve got some change at the top. That’s what happens when you play such a pansy schedule, LSU – and when Alabama beats Arkansas 52-0 on the road.

Here we go.

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Team (Pvs): Comment

1. Alabama (2): Mel Kiper said the other day that Alabama “is a little overrated.” Nick Saban applauds your wisdom, Mel, and would like you to personally tell each Alabama player just how much he sucks.

2. LSU (1): The Tigers played Idaho last week, and the only redeeming quality of that game was that Idaho is nicknamed the Vandals, and they are coached by Robb Akey, who is very excitable.

3. Georgia (3): UGA plays Vanderbilt this week, which means defensive coordinator Todd Grantham gets to catch up on old times with James Franklin. Apparently both men have moved on, but there’s something about Franklin that tells me he remembers every slight, and somehow, some way, someday, Grantham will suffer for this.

4. South Carolina (4): Gamecocks safety D.J. Swearinger received a one-game suspension from the SEC for what it deemed a “flagrant and dangerous” hit against a UAB receiver last week. UAB should be thankful all its players left the stadium alive.

5. Mississippi State (5): I have failed to mention anything about the fantastic catch Chris Smith made against Troy in the third quarter, so here it is. All of us in the press box evoked Tyrone Prothro when it happened, but hopefully Smith does not emulate Prothro in other ways (clip NSFW because it might make you projectile vomit into the next cubicle).

6. Florida (8): Welp, I guess them Gators is for reals now. Went up to Knoxville and laid the wood to Tennessee, and now offensive coordinator Brent Pease is eager to lay the wood to Kentucky. Wants to drop 50 on them, he said over the summer, mainly because of the criticism lobbed his way by former Kentucky quarterback and Pease pupil Jared Lorenzen. Hey, if UF drops 50 on UK, then Lorenzen has to drop 50 pounds. Deal?

7. Tennessee (6): Looks like them Vols just ain’t tough enoughDerek Dooley probably makes his players exfoliate.

8. Missouri (9): Coach Gary Pinkel has now been SEC-initiated: Paul Finebaum has gotten under his skin. And like so many otherwise intelligent people, Pinkel does not understand Finebaum’s (very effective) shtick.

9. Arkansas (7): Should I have dropped the Hogs lower, considering the Bama beatdown and the loss to UL-Monroe? After all, Auburn beat ULM (albeit in overtime). But I believe that Arkansas is a much better team with Tyler Wilson at quarterback, which ought to make Arkansas fans smile. I said, SMILE DANGIT! Could be worse. You could be $25 million in debt!

10. Auburn (10): I have no idea what this means, but it feels right. (h/t @edsbs)

11. Texas A&M (11): The Aggies play host to South Carolina State this weekend, and coach Kevin Sumlin insists he’s not looking past this game to the next one, which is against Arkansas. Hey, can’t blame him. This week’s game might be the tougher test.

12. Vanderbilt (12): So, Jordan Rodgers has already been demoted at quarterback. But he could win the job back. In the past, losing a starting job at Vandy meant you had to go back to wiping down helmets and tutoring basketball players, so that’s progress.

13. Ole Miss (13): The Rebels are shuffling their secondary after that 66-31 loss to Texas, because I’m sure that will plug the leaks.

14. Kentucky (14): That whole Lorenzen-Pease deal? Joker Phillips jokingly said Lorenzen should shut the hell up,” because it’s not polite to talk with your mouth full.

I am the online content coordinator for DJournal.com. Previously at the Journal, I covered Mississippi State athletics (2008-13), high schools (2004-08), and was on the copy desk (2002-04). I'm working on a recipe for bacon-flavored coffee, which would solve all the world's problems.

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