Killing Cupid with the conveniences of singlehood

Here it comes again…that time of year when the restaurants and flower shops sell to the institution of the lovey dovey while the singles wallow in the lonely, not buying into a stitch of the looming heart-shaped holiday.
As bad as it is for me to hear the comments of how others would like to pack Christmas and Halloween in a box and ship them right off the calendar, my cynical views of Valentine’s Day may trouble the giggly couples making eyes, but I’m not the only one sharing that feeling.
Like I wrote this time last year, it’s a scary world in the realms of the singles. It was okay in the days when a small army of us celebrated Anti-Valentine’s Day nights together on the town, but those guys and girls are all mostly fallen soldiers to the lovebug now.
I’m okay with nights out with couple friends, but going from single to singled out in just a few quick years is an eye opener on how infectious it is.
I’m sure there are support groups out there somewhere for anyone dubbed the third, fifth, seventh or 11th wheel when those nights overwhelm the impatient, but I’m okay with the wait. It makes good things better when they finally do roll back around.
To the girls and the guys moping and posting the night away on Facebook about being lonely, we get it. The Monroe Journal proved it this week that true love could be hidden behind a profile picture, but I was always taught looking desperate was a turn off to most.
To those girls and guys, I’m with you 100 percent when you say the sooner Valentine’s passes, the better, but there’s a whole other world out there than what they’re shoving down your throat until then.
If you’ve dabbled in it lately, love lives are complicated when the commitment isn’t there 100 percent. It’s a world of girlfriend substitutes that seem like wives. It’s a dating scene with people living out a reality TV show on a Saturday night after they broadcast and brainwashed the foundation of love right on away.
If you look really hard, there’s a little excitement somewhere in all that, but there’s a bigger relief in avoiding all of that too.
So to the ones looking for love in all the wrong places, slow those travels down and take a look around for something else to love.
Life doesn’t have to revolve around a pretty face to come home to at night or a ‘Have a great day ;)’ text message first thing in the morning, though they are great to have around.
Life does need to revolve around happiness and it can be found in the most obscure of situations. Happiness is a quiet Friday at home in front of the TV, the freedom of doing anything you want on a Saturday and the peace of mind that comes with a Sunday prayer of thanksgiving for the independence you do have the whole week through.
The Christmas blues can suck the life outside of somebody when they dwell on what they don’t have while the world’s trying it’s best to make up for the loss. The red hearts of Valentine’s can just plain suck when you don’t have somebody, but the world gives you so much more.
Baseball season is a few short days away. The days are getting longer and the outdoor opportunities are about to burst back into full bloom. The income tax checks are filing right back to your mailbox and there’s something out there you’ve been waiting to see or do so go.
Once you focus on something you love and forget about how frustrating chasing a love life is, the less the lovey duvey seems to bother you. Anyway, they say when you’re not looking for somebody is when they find you so take a step back and enjoy life until then.
My prediction for 2013, like every other year, is that it will most likely come with the proposals you never saw coming, but see going as the beginnings of something good for somebody else. Get out and live your life in happiness and you may accidentally cross paths with your somebody while you’re at it.

Ray Van Dusen is news editor of the Monroe Journal. He can be reached at

About Ray Van Dusen

I've been with the Monroe Journal since Aug. 2009 as a staff writer, but took the role as news editor in late 2012. I'm always looking for interesting story ideas from around Monroe County. You can reach me via email at