EMILY LE COZ: Children's answers and word tangles spell humor

By Emily LeCoz

Nothing like a few cute kid stories to make you smile. Here are some gems from my personal vault:
• My mother belonged to a baby-sitting club where everyone would keep each other’s kids at no cost. One day she had a little girl whose mother apparently wore no makeup. As my mom applied blush, lipstick and eye shadow for date night with my dad, the girl stood transfixed at the bedroom door. After a moment of silence, she finally asked with wide-eyed wonder: “Are you a clown?”
• I saw my nephew during a recent visit to the Gulf Coast that occurred just days after his fourth birthday. I couldn’t remember the exact date, though, so I asked him, “Jarrett when did you turn four?” He gave me an annoyed look and replied, “When I was three. Duh.”
• My son isn’t much of a hugger when it comes to men, so to get a big embrace from him, my husband Todd says, “Squeeze my neck.” He says it so often that it’s become a common phrase now for “hug.” So recently when our friends and their 4-year-old son were leaving our house, Todd told their son to “squeeze my neck” goodbye. But instead of hugging my husband, the boy’s eyes lit up with glee as he wrapped his hands around Todd’s neck and tried to strangle him. He was dismayed to learn that the one time he thought he had permission to choke a man, it was just a miscommunication.
• Kids often mispronounce words. Here are my favorites: My friend’s daughter used to call “popcorn” “cop porn.” Another friend’s son (the strangler) used to say “because” as “ka buzz.” My own son refers to the movie “Star Wars” as “Star Whores.”
• Speaking of mispronunciation … One day my son mentioned to his autism therapist that he liked potatoes, and she asked, “Do you like them mashed or baked?” Sometimes when my son doesn’t understand a question, he’ll just repeat it. So he replied, “Mashed or baked.” Except his pronunciation turned the “sh” sound into an “s” and the “k” into a “t. (I’ll let you figure that one out.) He then walked around the rest of the day repeating his new phrase to anyone who would listen.
• One of my friends has a 4-year-old with strong opinions. Recently, he asked his mother if she wore makeup. And when she said no, he replied, “You should.”
… But what does he know? At least his mom’s not a clown like mine.
Contact Daily Journal staff writer Emily Le Coz at (662) 678-1588 or by email at emily.lecoz@journalinc.com.