Gardens and fields were still too wet to work, so several Coffee Clutchers were polishing the benches at Arthur’s.
Tim the Cop kicked off the proceedings by listing a few highly inadvisable things to wear in court that he’d actually seen there.
“One was a shirt that said, ‘I’m out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message,’” he said. “Then there were the solid-orange shirt – when the guy was seated, he looked like an inmate – the really wild tattoos and acres of cleavage.”
Chester said the least advisable thing to wear is a kiss-my-whatever attitude.
“You don’t even have to be the defendant for that to land you in jail,” he said.
Maurice changed the subject, noting he’d endured a particularly embarrassing recent incident.
“I’d been getting up more often at night, so I asked my regular doctor to get me an appointment with a specialist,” he said. “I got to the clinic, and the doctor started asking me what is today, who is the president and when is my birthday. Turns out my doctor thought I’d said ‘neurologist,’ not ‘urologist.’”
Clyde noted, “It could have been even worse the other way around, Maurice. Imagine you’re worried that your memory is declining, and the doctor starts putting on an exam glove.”
We all flinched.
Walter said he was thinking about donating some SunGold tomato plants in five-gallon buckets to clients of a local food charity.
“Almost every family has at least a little space on a balcony or stoop where it could get enough sunshine to thrive,” he said. “It would teach kids a little about where food comes from and the satisfaction of doing for oneself.”
I told the group about a seminar I’d sat in on that discussed journalists’ uses of Twitter, Facebook and other media dominated by younger folks. One photo in the presentation showed a hard-faced, middle-aged reporter with the caption, “I’m too old for this (expletive deleted). I can’t wait to retire.”
“I’m not at that point of frustration yet,” I said, “but it would help if they would kindly call a five-year moratorium on new technology while I try to catch up.” Several Coffee Clutchers offered to call “they” with that request.
Mark said he’d seen in Reader’s Digest where many of the most oft-cited quotations are wrongly attributed.
“It turns out that Edmund Burke never said, ‘All that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing,’” Mark declared.
We answered, in unison, “Well, he shoulda.”
Contact Daily Journal Oxford Bureau reporter Errol Castens at (662) 281-1069 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
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