The other day, I told my wife that I didn’t want to become a “grumpety-grump-grump.” She said, “You’re not a ‘grumpety-grump-grump.’ You’re just a grump.”
Which I appreciated, more or less.
In recent months, the object of my grumpiness has been Twitter, the Internet social media site that allows you to send 140-character messages.
Right off the bat, 140 characters doesn’t impress me. By the end of this sentence, I’ll have written 495 characters for this column, and I’m just getting started.
If I were to convert what I’ve written into Twitter-speak, it would look like this:
“I’m a grumpety-grump-grump. Twitter makes no sense. 140 characters? Blah!”
Want to know what’s sad? That short burst sums up what I’ve written pretty well, and, including quotation marks, it took only 75 characters.
Over the past year or so, Twitter has slowly worked its way into my life.
Once, I was sitting in a movie theater, when Kelli Karlson with Wizard 106.7 sat next to me. She pulled out her phone and “tweeted” that I was in the theater.
I couldn’t help wondering, Why would anybody care?
As a grump, I was honor-bound to annoy Kelli about her Twitter addiction. Pretty soon, all of her followers were alerted that I had “broken wind” in the theater.
Not true, by the way.
At least, that’s my story.
My second run-in with Twitter was more interesting because it helped spread my legend, which is good (or bad) for the ego.
The family and I were eating lunch at Lulu’s in Gulf Shores, Ala., when Tupelo’s own Josh Mabus and family sat at the table next to ours.
Upon reaching the Mighty Daily Journal a couple of days later, our web guru Todd Vinyard said he’d gotten a tweet about my lunch at Lulu’s.
That was kind of cool because now people can’t think of me as just a guy who eats lunch in Tupelo. I could eat in Verona or Corinth or Houlka, or even – oh yeah, I’m going there – Gulf Shores. I’m a bona fide gastronomical man of mystery.
OK, I’ve lost my train of thought.
What would I do with a Twitter account? Nothing to do but try.
During Spring Break, I signed up. You’ll find me at www.twitter.com/mscottmorris, which is marginally better than www.twitter.com/grumpety-grump-grump.
I’m not ready to say Twitter is the end all and be all of communication, but it isn’t all bad.
A buddy recently tweeted to say the Civil Wars and Emmylou Harris will perform on “Prairie Home Companion” today. A grump like me can use that kind of news.
By the way, this column required 2,699 characters, not including headline. That’s a whopping number, considering the whole thing could be summed up with: “Twitter? We’ll see.”
Contact M. Scott Morris at (662) 678-1589 or email@example.com.