By Patsy R. Brumfield/NEMS Daily Journal
No, I have not been invited to make the celebrity on-stage presentation tonight at the Democratic National Convention.
I cannot get my hair to stand up like Clint Eastwood’s.
That reminds me of a favorite story my children told when they were in high school about a Beta Club convention in Jackson.
During its course, participants took tests to determine who was the smartest in each category. One classmate insisted he would take the test but he wasn’t going to sign his own name.
On the convention’s final day, a grown-up took the stage to announce the winners.It was a great moment as she rattled through the categories.
But, as the woman came to a final result, she remarked that the winner was from my kids’ high school, so they grew much more attentive.
And the winner is … she drew out … the winner is Clint … Eastwood.
Lo, and behold, that was the name their classmate chose, and they hollered with joy, although you can be sure the young man did not rise from his seat to claim his dubious prize.
* * *
We Northeast Mississippians breathed a sigh of relief last week when we missed much nastiness associated with Hurricane Isaac.
My daughter’s beau, an adventurous young man, is a recent resident to the Big Easy. He couldn’t resist staying for some little ole Category 1 storm.
Prior to its arrival, I sent him an eight-item list of things he needed to know. My conscience was absolved at that point.
Of course, he lost all power by midnight of landfall, then endured several days in rather primitive conditions albeit with friends in like circumstances.
Finally, he just threw up his hands at the misery and caught a plane for the Big Apple and other friends with tickets to the U.S. Open tennis tourney.
Nice to have options.
Small lessons can be learned from Hurricane Isaac.
* No. 1 – A hurricane is a hurricane is a hurricane, with apologies to Gertrude Stein.
For newcomers, they call it a hurricane when sustained (constant) winds hit 75 mph. That means it’s going to blow very harshly for quite a while.
Expect your power to go out. If this matters to you, leave for tamer climes.
* No. 2 – Even a Category 1 hurricane is still a hurricane.
Hurricanes are notorious for driving rainstorms. When the rain blows parallel to the ground, or at least causes The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore nearly to fall over, expect flooding.
* No. 3 – Beware of Cantore.
If you look up and see TWC’s Cantore driving through your town, get out if you still have time.
TWC only sends the fearless weatherman into the teeth of bad weather. The other guys get their turns with madness, but Cantore must have it in his contract that he gets first refusal on every type of high-viewership cataclysm.
At one point, I swear his hair did indeed rival Eastwood’s.
Patsy Brumfield is the senior courts and legal affairs reporter for the Daily Journal. Her email is firstname.lastname@example.org.