So, what if I am a sadist? Maybe I'm just a qualified sadist, that is, that I'm only sadistic when I'm driving from home to Doggie Day Care and then back again

So, what if I am a sadist? Maybe I’m just a qualified sadist, that is, that I’m only sadistic when I’m driving from home to Doggie Day Care and then back again.
That’s because I drive the speed limit and often drive the people behind me crazy.
Tuesday morning, for example: As I started my final stretch on South Thomas Street at 30 mph, the published limit, I glanced into the rearview mirror to see a woman in a small royal blue vehicle glaring over her steering wheel.
I knew what was making her mad – me. By the time I was almost at DDC, the woman was half wild. As I pulled into the turn lane, she sped around me, her Tennessee tag flashing in the sun, to a red traffic light a half block away. My, oh, my, I thought. Wasn’t that fun?
The day before, I’d so enraged another female driver that just before I pulled into the turn lane, she did so and fairly flew around me. Lucky I noticed the illegal maneuver and held steady to allow her to act a fool.
I don’t know why the Tupelo City Council recently refused to increase the South Thomas speed to, let’s say, 40. It’s a 40 mph street, but who am I to question their wisdom?
If they tell me it’s 30, I’m gonna go 30, especially since I’ve seen quite a few Smokies a-waitin’ for some hapless speeder. Not me, buddy.
Frankly, I think 50 mph is too fast on Coley Road. I can’t see much difference with South Thomas, although Coley has extra lanes.
It’s not that I don’t drive fast, when appropriate. I do, especially when I’m headed to Oxford for federal court or some such interesting activity.
I have no problem with accelerated speed between Tupelo and Jackson or Tupelo and Pensacola, where my sister lives. Thank heaven for audio books.
Speaking of, I’m headed south soon and have a new book to listen to.
I need something extra long to take me there and back home, so the past few trips I’ve gone through “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” and its sequel. I reached for a third story and choked at its price. I’ll wait for a sale.
So, now I’m ready for something completely different: Tim Burton’s upcoming movie, this an audiobook version, “Young Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer.”
You gotta admit, that’s a change of pace.
If it’s a bust on the way down, I’ll just find myself something else along the Redneck Riviera.
I’m sure they’ve got something besides the Rocky series, all the Smokey and the Bandit movies and legends of NASCAR.
Perhaps I’ll look for a translation into doggie language for Grandpup Bonnie. That probably wouldn’t last 30 seconds for me, but it surely would be funny to see the look on her face as she sits so regally in her doggie seat with the baby shade diverting the sun.
Ah, Nana retains her sense of humor, even if she is a sadist.
Patsy R. Brumfield writes a Thursday column. Contact her at patsy.brumfield@journalinc.com.