We were sitting at Arthur’s last week hunting the bottoms of our coffee mugs. Some of us were waiting impatiently for the ground to dry out, while those whose garden duties are spouse-driven were hoping it wouldn’t.
Bud started the proceedings with a mandate that we update Sen. Everett Dirksen’s famous quote about federal spending.
“With our new president’s spending habits, we gotta say, ‘A trillion here, a trillion there, and pretty soon you’re talkin’ about real money,’” he said.
That prompted a deep scowl from Chester.
“Obama has just led the charge to borrow a trillion dollars from our great-grandchildren to solve a crisis that was caused by reckless borrowing,” he said. “So now he wants each cabinet member to cut $100 million in spending. Maybe it’s just my own weirdness, but that seems a whole lot like burning down your house and patting yourself on the back for having the foresight to have a pup tent in the back yard.”
Someone mentioned the president’s recent trips in which he confessed America’s faults.
“Confession is good for the soul, I suppose, even if it’s to dictators, suicide bombers and others who hate us for all the wrong reasons,” Clyde said. “But while he was apologizing for some real faults, he was also including some things he only imagines as faults – like ending World War II decisively and staving off World War III many times and supposedly arming all the drug lords of Mexico at gun shows and pawn shops.
“What I wish he’d added to his confessions is our funding of Mexico’s drug war by being the world’s biggest consumer of illegal drugs,” Clyde continued. “And I wish he’d confessed America’s contribution to human trafficking by being the world’s largest consumer of pornography.” (A couple of guys nearly swallowed their dregs when he made that last statement.)
Bud noted that he hadn’t seen any other leaders responding with confessions of their own nations’ sins or any acknowledgment of what America has done right.
“I hope the president will remember to say that our military has repeatedly saved the butts of people who now consider us their inferiors,” he said. “And we’ve helped more starving, sick, homeless and oppressed people than any other country on Earth.”
Clyde washed his mug and hung it up, then started out the door.
“The wind’s started blowing, fellows, and the soil’s getting ready,” he said. “I’ve got seeds to plant.”
Contact Errol Castens at (662) 281-1069 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
NEMS Daily Journal