By Lloyd Gray/NEMS Daily Journal
Here are some interesting recent news developments you might not have heard about. Please keep the day in mind as you read these. Literalists, you may move on to something else.
Former Gov. Haley Barbour announced that after watching the candidates slog through the Republican presidential primaries he believed he made a mistake not running for president this year and would jump into the race as a last-minute entrant.
“I told Morsha, doggonit, I could’ve won this thing,” Barbour said in an exclusive interview with MSNBC.
He also bemoaned the rigid partisanship now pervasive on the political scene. “Party never meant much to me,” he said. “Some of those folks I pardoned were Democrats. I believe in forgiveness.”
To demonstrate his bipartisan commitment, he said he would choose former Democratic House Speaker Billy McCoy as his running mate. “We need a real populist on the ticket,” Barbour said, “and we’ve always gotten along great.”
McCoy said he had enjoyed working with Barbour so much in state government that he would like to continue a close professional relationship but would prefer to join Barbour’s lobbying firm in Washington “to get a taste of how the other side lives.” He said he would consider the vice presidential slot only if Barbour agreed to appoint Steve Holland as secretary of state.
“We all know that Steve’s strength is his diplomacy and tact,” McCoy said. “Plus, he knows where all the bodies are buried.”
Holland, when contacted on a weekend trip to the newly named Gulf of America, declined printable comment.
Tupelo Mayor Jack Reed Jr. announced he had decided not to run for re-election next year because his tenure had been too easy for someone like himself who enjoys a challenge.
“To tell you the truth, I thought there would be some issues to address as mayor, a few controversies maybe, but it’s been a breeze,” Reed said. “Nothing much to worry about, nobody mad at anybody – seems like all we’ve had the last couple of years in Tupelo is sweetness and light.”
He said he was leaning toward endorsing Ward 3 Councilman Jim Newell as his successor, “since Jim and I agree on most everything.”
And in sports: Mississippi State football coach Dan Mullen said in honor of Hugh Freeze’s arrival at Ole Miss, he would no longer refer to “the school up north” and instead would call it “the school due west of Tupelo.”
“It’s a slightly more precise directional description, especially if I’m in Starkville when I say it,” Mullen explained. “I want to be fair.”
Freeze, for his part, said Ole Miss fans, as a gesture of goodwill, would forego their long-standing denial that Mississippi State exists anywhere other than in a certain dimension of the afterlife.
LLOYD GRAY is executive editor of the Daily Journal. Contact him at (662) 678-1579 or firstname.lastname@example.org.