By M. Scott Morris/NEMS Daily Journal
You can’t see it, but my arm is twisted as I pat myself on the back, which is why it took an hour to write this sentence.
But I’m still pleased for making it past Thanksgiving without getting too Christmas-y.
The first bit of Christmas to hit my inbox arrived on Nov. 5. The email was titled, “Don’t be a jerk, listen to ‘It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! Album’ – It’s out right now!”
That’s not cool, calling me a jerk, then using not one, but two exclamation points. It was easy to delay delivery of that pre-season cheer.
(By the way, for actual SpongeBob fans, the animated special “It’s a SpongeBob Christmas” will air at 6:30 p.m. Dec. 9 on Nickelodeon.)
I had a harder time holding onto a little beauty that arrived on Nov. 15 from Premier Props.
More than 1,000 movie costumes and props will be auctioned off during the Holiday Hollywood Live Auction Extravaganza on Dec. 8 and 9 in El Segundo, Calif.
Nothing says, “Merry Christmas, baby,” like a knife Daniel Craig used as James Bond in “Casino Royale” or the leg braces Tom Hanks wore in “Forrest Gump.”
How about looking under the tree on Christmas morning to find a shrunken human head from Alfred Hitchock’s “Under Capricorn?” And who wouldn’t say “Ho-ho-ho!” to the shotgun Arnold Schwarzenegger wielded in “Terminator 3?”
If you’re interested in placing online bids, visit www.icollector.com or www.liveauctioneers.com.
Doesn’t the phrase “online bids” ooze Christmas spirit? On my arm, at this moment, goose bumps. I’m so glad I waited to get swept up by the holiday.
Sadly, I wasn’t able to go from Halloween candy to Thanksgiving pecan pie without delving into a bit of Christmas.
The reason is simple: I have a wife and kids. We had to make plans and take a few concrete Christmas actions before turkey day.
I’m proud to say I ignored most of my wife’s urging to get down to Yuletide business for as long as possible. She’s a patient woman, but it goes only so far.
Somewhere deep, down in her heart, there might be a tiny part that appreciates my foot-dragging. Probably not, but who knows?
I’m ready for Christmas music now, but no SpongeBob songs, please.
I’m ready to crawl into the attic to haul down heaping tubs of tinsel and store-bought cheer.
I’m ready to consider what family members should wear during our Christmas picture.
Actually, that last one is a lie. I suggested Crimson Tide shirts for the photo, but my wife shot the idea down quicker than you can say, “Bowl Championship Series.”
The foot-dragging might not be over, but it’ll have more to do with passive aggressiveness than resistance to the upcoming holiday.
Merry Christmas, everyone, and not a word about New Year’s until Dec. 26.
M. Scott Morris is a Daily Journal feature writer. Contact him at (662) 678-1589 or firstname.lastname@example.org.