M. SCOTT MORRIS: Ready for your close-up on the Web

JB Clark, who sits across the cubicle wall in front of me, and I have joked about installing a webcam to capture all the brilliance that takes place in our portion of the Mighty Daily Journal.

Our biggest fear is Sheena Barnett, who sits across the cubicle wall to the right of me, will grab all the attention.

Han Su from South Korea demands: “Give us more Sheena!!!!!!!!!”

It could happen.

There certainly are Mighty Daily Journal moments that would garner massive hits on the Internet, if only they were caught on camera.

I imagine it’s that way at most workplaces. One comment leads to another. Suddenly, you’re having the kind of good time that could get you fired if the wrong people found out about it.

In the future, cameras will be everywhere, catching life’s random odd moments to entertain the masses. They’ll be the same cameras that will record our immoral and illegal acts, which will make good viewing, too.

The future is a scary place.

Can I get an “Amen?”

The Prurient Interest channel probably will get better ratings than The Life’s Random Odd Moments channel, but I could be wrong.

Maybe people will get trampled in a race to the top, rather than a race to the bottom.

In our recorded future, everyone will have a reality show. And if everyone has a reality show, then no one has a reality show.

How Zen is that?

Simply put, if everybody has something, what good is it? Other than oxygen, I mean.

Not all Everywhere Cam reality shows will be created equal. The happenings at Walmart on West Main Street might be far zanier than events at Dairy Kream on East Main Street. Or vice versa. We’d have to check the footage to be sure.

Though everyone will have a chance to be a reality star, there’s no way everyone can actually be one.

It’ll require a special combination of traits, including nice hair and the ability to shamelessly promote yourself. You’ll have to be exceedingly funny or spectacularly depraved to set yourself apart from the rabble.

Again, maybe stand-up guys and gals will rise above the fray, and all eyes will turn to a channel devoted strictly to people who save the world’s orphans from the world’s burning buildings. I’d watch.

But that’s the future, which doesn’t do me much good now. JB and I were joking about our webcam, but I wonder how it might work in real life.

It would take a while for me to forget about the camera. I’d start all stiff and polite.

There’d be a stretch where I’d try too hard to be funny. That’ll annoy viewers, but we’ll get through it.

I predict the Mighty Daily Journal channel will eventually hit its stride. We’ll know because Sheena Barnett will be buried in fan mail from South Korea. She’ll probably deserve it, too.

M. SCOTT MORRIS is a Daily Journal feature writer. Contact him at (662) 678-1589 or scott.morris@journalinc.com.