Forgive me, but I can’t help myself: two columns in a row with a Snuggie reference.
It’s a good thing all us knuckleheads got ours for Christmas because we need them this week.
I awoke Monday to MPR’s claims it was snowing randomly across North Mississippi. Not willing to call many people liars, I rationalized that the flakes must be falling in Walls or Starkville – since I saw none outside my house.
A quick look at the weather forecast sent me into Snuggie Shock.
If the temp persists below 25 degrees, count me in as one of the ugly-and-swaddled, but warm.
Actually, I tried out the hideous Ole Miss-design thing last weekend and fell off to a cozy snooze in front of a meaningless college bowl game. About an hour later, I awoke in a veritable pool of sweat, struggling like a woman possessed to get the massive, plush garment from around my body.
I hope you don’t have to find this out from a similar experience, but it isn’t easy to remove a sweaty Snuggie that’s attached itself to the very contours of yourself whilst in a prone position.
After a few crazed moments, I freed myself from the searing heat and the claustrophobia of the textile heater. Then, I collapsed back onto the couch, panting from the shock and horror of the experience.
No wonder grand-dog Bonnie practically lost her cheery demeanor Christmas Eve when my daughter dressed her up in her puppy Snuggie. Silly me, I forgot to consider that Bonnie already had a coat on – she didn’t need another.
Bonnie, I have felt your pain.
After all these years, I think I’ve just become a summer woman. I don’t love the heat but I’ve found acceptable ways to handle it.
In that season, I prefer to sleep with just a sheet on and my feet hanging out one side for the breeze. Winter requires me to throttle down the thermostat, then pile on the covers.
Some folks revel in arctic blasts of air conditioning. I hate it. My poor sister stays cold so much she’s probably got a summertime Snuggie.
But, if it gets cold enough tonight or on through this winter, you can bet I’ll let bygones be bygones and give ole “Snug” another chance.
As far as I’m concerned, the only good things about winter are ice water from the tap and frizz-free hair.
Thanks again to the Plumbing gods for cutting me just enough slack Monday morning to retrieve my pipes from a very scary, frozen situation.
I had neglected to think about opening cabinets, etc., to get warm air to the exterior walls. But no more – my house looks like it’s been burglarized, so many doors are open to the 68-degree temps.
Special thanks to neighborhood friend Bill Deas for bringing me one of those T-shaped cut-off wrenches, which I’ll hold on to until I’m sure I’ve survived the weekend.
Wonder if they make pipe Snuggies?
Contact Patsy R. Brumfield at (662) 678-1596 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Read Patsy’s blog, From the Front Row, on NEMS360.com or follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
Patsy R. Brumfield/NEMS Daily Journal