SHEENA BARNETT: On-again, off-again horoscopes

Depending on what source you believe, today I should either pay attention to subtle clues or seize opportunities that come my way.

Um, OK.

Those are my horoscopes for today, one from a website and one from a nifty little app on my phone.

I’m a Taurus, in case you’re wondering.

I don’t put a lot of stock into these small, everyday little horoscopes, but they’re fun to read. I’m told horoscopes aren’t predictive, but are meant to be taken as little hints or guidelines.

Sometimes, they’re weirdly accurate; sometimes, they’re stupidly off-mark.

I know plenty of folks who swear by the stars, though.

Within the first five minutes of meeting my friend Spencer, one of the first things he’ll ask you is, “What’s your sign?”

We’re both Tauruses, so he’s quick to tell me if the person is compatible with our sign or not. I never put a lot of faith into it, but it has been weird to see how some folks of the same sign have the same personality traits but little else in common.

One thing I can understand is the power of a full moon.

I heard once that police and other emergency responders are super busy on full moons, because people tend to go a little mad. Not Norman Bates mad, but just a little wonky.

I asked a friend of mine, who is a dispatcher for a local sheriff’s department, if this is so, and she responded with a swift and sure “yes.”

Ever since then, I’ve wanted to do some stats research into how many calls cops get for, say, fights on a regular night of the month versus an evening with a full moon overhead.

I can’t say I understand the whole “Mercury is in retrograde” thing, but it seems things go completely off the books when that time comes.

Plans fall apart. Stuff breaks.

During the last retrograde, I made a list of things that broke: my TV and dryer, my mom’s car, a friend’s lawn mower. That’s not all of the list, but I only have so much space.

The next one is in late October.

Please, sweet Mercury, have mercy.

I’m told there’s a lot of work to figure out horoscopes, and I’m sure there is. I’m sure some folks follow astrology to the letter when it comes to their lives. Hey, to each his or her own.

I think I have more fun with horoscopes written by those who have no idea what they’re doing.

A few weeks ago, a horoscope written by Madame Clairevoyant – who isn’t an astrologist, but writes horoscopes anyway – said all Tauruses should listen to Beyonce.

Now that’s a horoscope I can believe in.

SHEENA BARNETT writes about the arts and entertainment for the Daily Journal. Contact her at (662) 678-1580 or sheena.barnett@journalinc.com.