Rumor has it that President Obama would have preferred that bin Laden had been captured instead of killed and brought to trial, convicted and sentenced to the ultimate punishment, being made Donald Trump's apprentice. And, speaking of The Donald, we will no doubt be hearing from him soon with yet another crazy conspiracy theory that bin Laden isn't really dead but was recruited by the president to serve as forward on his White House basketball team.
Some people will never be convinced that the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks as well as numerous other al- Qaida terrorist acts is really dead just as many believe Hitler survived that bunker, Elvis is still taking care of business and Obama wasn't born in Hawaii but Mississippi, making him pratically ineligible to be president. The quick dispatching of bin Laden's body will no doubt fuel those conspiracy theories although if we had had him stuffed and mounted at Ground Zero there are many who would still say it was faked.
As to why it took us so long to find him, perhaps it's because everyone assumed he was living on the run, hiding out in caves on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border living off trail mix and communicating by carrier pigeon when, in reality, he was kicking back in a modern home in those house shoes they keep showing in the videos drinking tea, relaxing and watching TV. Probably "The Apprentice," just to learn how to be a better terrorist.
Bin Laden was found in Abbottabad (right next to Abbottabing), Pakistan, living right under the noses of the Pakistani military which raises even more questions about if and how long that country's leaders knew he was there. Although not definitive proof, rumor has it that Osama's personal appointment book was found in the raid on his compound and scribbled in the entry for last Saturday night was "dinner and cards with Asif and Tanveer at the presidential palace."
When Pakistani President Asif Zardari was questioned by the American press about bin Laden's presence in his country, Zardari responded by saying, "That was Osama? But he was such a nice guy and a wicked poker player. He always took all of our money, I mean your money."
Osama reportedly walked with a cane because of kidney problems and had long white hair and a white beard which may also explain why it took so long to find him. Intelligence forces had been tracking Col. Reb by mistake.
Marty Russell writes a Wednesday column for the Daily Journal. He can be reached at 222 Farley Hall, University MS 38677 or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.