Brad Paisley had a hit song a few years back called “Alcohol,” which brilliantly captured the myriad ways in which alcohol can strongly influence us. As today’s police reports remind us, it can cause all kinds of odd, and dumb, behavior. Some people obviously did not heed the warnings inherent in Paisley’s song.
You’ve got people lying down in parking lots, falling asleep at the wheel, slinging beer all over hotel rooms, and incorrectly using a Breathalyzer device. (I have so many jokes for that last one, but I don’t wanna get fired.)
Of course, you don’t have to be drunk to do stupid things, like, say, trying to steal not one, but TWO chairs from Kohl’s. Can’t exactly stuff those down your pants leg, unless you’re wearing gauchos maybe.
So, behold the latest police reports from Tupelo and Lee County (not all, just the best ones). Enjoy, and feel better about yourself as a human being.
Lee County Sheriff’s Office
• A Hayes Drive woman reported her son was causing a disturbance and being disrespectful to her.
• A Mooreville woman reported her son stole her purse.
• A Baldwyn woman reported an aggressive dog killed one of her chickens in her County Road 2788 yard.
Tupelo Police Department
• A woman was arrested for DUI at the intersection of North Gloster and West Jackson streets. She told officers she doesn’t drink and when asked to get out of the car said she would rather remain seated. When officers attempted to administer the breathalyzer, the woman sucked on the tube instead of blowing into it.
• A woman reported a man walked into her room at the Town House Motel and poured beer in her bed and ripped the phone out of the wall.
• A woman was arrested for attempting to take five tank tops and one pair of shorts from the West Main Street Walmart.
• A woman was arrested for being drunk in public after she was observed staggering in the middle of North Gloster Street.
• A man on Mississippi Drive reported someone stole his medicine but once officers arrived they realized the man was drunk and arrested him for public intoxication.
• A man was arrested for public intoxication in the parking lot of Taco Bell on Barnes Crossing Road. Employees reported he was causing a disturbance and when police arrived he was lying down in the parking lot.
• A man was arrested for DUI after an officer found him asleep in the driver’s seat of his car, keys in the ignition, with vomit on his chest, arms, center console and passenger seat.
• A woman at Baskin Robbins complained to police she was denied a refund for $3.97.
• A Harrison Street man reported two put bull dogs attacked his dog in his backyard.
• A South Gloster Street man reported someone was sitting in his vehicle in the parking lot of Advance Auto Parts. The man said when he went to confront the man he noticed $200 missing.
• A Kohl’s employee was arrested for attempting to shoplift two chairs from the store, valued at $165.74, after purchasing a table.
Anyone with information on any of these crimes is urged to call the Lee County Sheriff’s Office at (662) 841-9041 or Crime Stoppers at (800) 773-TIPS.