Well hello there, fellow bipeds. Are you still in a euphoric state over the news of Five Guys officially coming to Tupelo? Y’all tried to blow up the Internet yesterday with that story.
So as we all ponder our triglyceride levels, let’s review the top stories from your Thursday Journal.
• Carol’s back – The elephant that was shot in Tupelo last year returns this week with the circus back in town. We know how well elephants remember things, so let’s hope Carol doesn’t have flashbacks and go on a rampage through downtown. But if she does, please send me the video and pictures if you’re a witness.
• Accidental ‘splosion – The biodiesel explosion that happened in Union County in January has been officially ruled an accident. A cause has yet to be determined, but it’s good to know there are probably no terrorists in Union County. (We always have to immediately assume terrorism these days, right? Terrorists probably shot Carol the elephant.)
• Severe weather alert – It’s gonna get nasty later on, according to the expert meteorologists. So yeah, maybe it won’t. But be prepared, because sometimes those guys are actually right.
• MDOT gets funded – The 2014 Legislative session went into extra innings but finally ended last night. Didn’t go as late as that Cubs-Pirates game, though. And you can probably guess who won that game.
• Bill James approves – Ripley’s baseball team doesn’t believe in batting averages. They go by something called QAB, and I sorta miss the days when statistics were more simple, because I’m no good with numbers.
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