And while we're at it, has anyone seen a spare heart lying around?
As you might have read earlier this week, point guard Dee Bost said the main ingredient this team is lacking is heart. I'll avoid all the obvious Tin Man jokes, although it's awfully tempting to reference T'Pau (I'm sure my fellow sons and daughters of the '80s will get that).
Lack of heart, of course, equals lack of effort.
As I noted on the radio Tuesday, the Bulldogs looked like a bunch of zombies in Saturday's 22-point loss to Georgia, with the exception of Bost, who is playing the role of Rick Grimes, the main character of AMC's "The Walking Dead" - except Bost is trying to help the zombies, not escape and/or kill them.
There's been little to no response.
"I played hard every possession, tried to give it my all and tried to give everybody else some energy, but it seemed like it didn't work," Bost said.
Nope, this team is impervious to life-saving attempts. Renardo Sidney seems to sleepwalk for long stretches, Ravern Johnson's jump shot is on life support, Kodi Augustus vanishes like a ghost at times, and Riley Benock is actually showing heart but doesn't have the talent or gumption to match.
And the bench is coming to a milk carton near you.
At the crossroads
Which brings me back to this crossroads. MSU (10-8, 2-2 SEC) has two enormous games this week: Thursday against No. 19 Vanderbilt (14-4, 2-2) and Saturday against No. 24 Florida (15-4, 4-1).
Both are home games, but State will be the underdog each time. A team with a heart and a soul, of course, wouldn't be troubled by that. That sort of team would come out and play both games down to the wire and win at least one of them, if not both.
If MSU leaves Humphrey Coliseum on Saturday afternoon at 10-10 and 2-4 in the league, then we'll know which road it's taken as far as postseason hopes. But there's another, more important crossroads the Bulldogs should worry about.
Even if they lose, something good can come of these next two games. If they find that heart and actually resemble a cohesive team and push Vandy and Florida to the limit, then they'll be on a better path than the current one.
That's what MSU needs to worry about right now. Don't worry about trying to make the NCAA tournament, because the only way that's happening is by winning the SEC Tournament. If State can get things together, it can still win the Western Division and be in good shape when it's time to play in Atlanta.
So the focus now must simply be on showing the kind of effort Bost has been playing with for 40 minutes a night. You'd expect a team with so much experience - three of the starters are seniors, Bost is a junior - to have no problems with that, which is why these struggles are such a mystery.
If MSU doesn't show a pulse over these next two games, I don't think it ever will. I suppose the Bulldogs could go the Robert Johnson route, but not even the devil would take that deal.
Brad Locke (email@example.com) covers Mississippi State for the Daily Journal and blogs daily at NEMS360.com.