Let's start with the most important people.
Cathy and Barbara work at the Mighty Daily Journal. I could tell you what they do, but then I'd have to ask them.
Cathy is one of many friendly voices in Circulation, and Barbara is one of many friendly voices in Classifieds.
Both are on the early shift, and were surprised to see me at work far earlier than usual on Wednesday.
I understand "morning people" exist. A friend once told me the pre-dawn hours were the only moments that belonged to him.
He can have them.
There was a time when I saw sunrises only because I didn't go to bed. My body can't handle that anymore, but I'm firmly in the late to bed, late to rise camp.
My sinuses kicked in Tuesday, and I left work early. Deadlines are deadlines, so the next day, I got the best parking spot at the Mighty Daily Journal. It was a fine, productive morning.
There were side effects: My brain was a nanosecond slower than my eyes, and at about 2 p.m., I had all the energy of a hibernating black bear.
By contrast, Cathy and Barbara were as pleasant as you'd please. It annoyed me. I asked Barbara how she did it.
"You do it because you have to," she said.
How's that for an honest answer? God bless the early risers, and may they keep it quiet until a more reasonable time of day.
That parking spot was great, though.
News reports about Donald Trump's possible candidacy for president are S-T-U-P-I-D, and I'll tell you why.
On Tuesday, Comedy Central will "roast" Trump. I've seen others go through the process, and everybody comes out covered in slime.
A man with serious presidential aspirations would not open himself up to that type of X-rated, televised ridicule.
He will remain Citizen Trump. Let the main-, lame-, tame- and shame-stream media take note.
Charlie, at last
The reason we care about Charlie Sheen is because he's broken with the natural order of things.
Rowdy Hollywood stars have a cadre of professionals charged with wiping hiccups like domestic assault and drug use out of the public's mind.
Sheen fired his cadre, so America is getting a "Full Charlie," unfiltered access as a star flames out.
Sheen may survive long enough to realize his mistake and hire another cadre of professionals. They will have the unenviable task of striking the Full Charlie from the public imagination.
Good luck with that, huh?
M. Scott Morris is a Daily Journal entertainment writer. Contact him at (662) 678-1589 or firstname.lastname@example.org.