Sure the economy is about as robust as a Victorian waif on crutches and no one was more miserly than Scrooge but I can't picture him pepper spraying fellow shoppers just to save a few bucks on some cheap, made-in-China product that will likely self-destruct before New Year's.
It's sad to see so many headlines recently about shoppers coming to blows - or being Tased - as they shop for that perfect gift that is sure to bring joy and that warm, fuzzy feeling to its recipient.
It makes you wonder if all those militant shoppers we've been reading about are really out there looking for something to bring happiness to others or to themselves. And whether the closest they'll get to that warm and fuzzy feeling is the pepper spray burning their eyeballs.
Shopping shouldn't be a competitive sport, especially Christmas shopping, a time of year when most of us at least give lip service to the notion of peace and good will toward our fellow man. Apparently peace and good will are fine as long as our fellow man isn't about to snatch up the last remaining Killer Robot of Death toy for under 10 bucks. And what's even scarier is that most of these incidents of shopper rage have taken places in stores that sell guns. It's a wonder some of these shoppers themselves haven't become the Killer Robots of Death.
I mean why would someone choose to camp out outside a store, sometimes for days, just to be the first in line to shop when these days you don't even have to get dressed or get off the couch to order something online and have it delivered straight to your door? Is this some new badge of honor, some new demonstration of affection?
Is it not enough to just give someone a gift anymore without relating the epic battle you had to endure to acquire your prize?
"I'm glad you like your new robot toy, son. Daddy had to survive two nights in sub-zero temperatures to get that for you for less than $10. Of course, I had to pay the doctor $200 to treat the frostbite."
I'm sorry but if that's what Christmas has come to, count me out. I'll do my shopping online or follow the tried-and-true Christmas tradition of waiting until the last minute and taking whatever's left on the shelf for whatever price just to show someone I was thinking of them, not the price or the fact that I had to beat back a battalion of 90-year-old women to get it.
Besides, it's not even December yet.
Marty Russell writes a Wednesday column for the Daily Journal. He can be reached at 222 Farley Hall, University, MS 38677 or by email at email@example.com