The old gray matter ain't what it used to be. Or maybe it is. It's hard to say because I don't remember how well - or unwell - I used to remember. That is, I recollect recalling things, but was I recalling things correctly?

If you're confused, join the club. I've had a strange week of the mind. My brain hasn't been connecting with the world quite like it should.

Luckily for you, I have examples.

It would've been easy to dismiss the first instance because it took place early in the morning, around 9 a.m.

About the only way I'll make it to heaven is from the many "bless you's" I get when I sneeze. On the morning in question, I freed a pill from the Allegra bottle and searched the room for something to take it with.

Finding none, I set the pill on my wallet because I knew I'd remember my wallet, so I had a good chance of remembering the pill, too.

My plan worked, and when I retrieved the pill, it and the wallet were sitting less than six inches from a bottle of water.

If it'd been a snake, I'd be telling you a story about the snake in my house right now, but it was a bottle of water. How did I miss that?

The next brainus-interruptus occurred at the tail end of a long drive, when I needed to take care of personal business. I walked into a convenience store, looked around until I spotted the restroom, then walked toward it.

I didn't get far before stepping on a piece of ceiling. Upon further review, the roof of the place - and I mean the whole place - was a wet shambles, with soggy insulation hanging down and wrecked pieces of ceiling tile all over the floor.

Clearly, I was focused on a biological need and noticed only the details necessary to accomplish the mission at hand. But still ...

I'm hesitant to tell you the third example of complete brain failure because I can't think of any excuse.

There were factors at play, sure. I was late and hungry when arriving at a meeting with about 15 usually memorable people.

But I would've been lucky to have named three of them for the first few minutes of the meeting. I recognized all but one of the faces, but none of the names raced to consciousness.

Their identities crawled into place over the next five or 10 minutes. I felt relieved and more than a little bit stupid.

By the fact that I consider 9 a.m. early, you can surmise that I'm not missing much sleep. We're also big fans of lean protein at the house, and I haven't been swimming around in nuclear waste or anything.

I'm beginning to think a baseball bat to the back of my skull might be an overall improvement to brain function. Not that I'm asking for someone to crown me with a baseball bat - unless that snake shows up again and desperate measures are required.

Wait.

What snake?

M. Scott Morris is a Daily Journal feature writer. Contact him at (662) 678-1589 or scott.morris@journalinc.com.